feargach | closed; everyone i hold holds me strangled; jasper & jean

[ This isn't the first time for Jean Moreau. He'd been sold to the Moriyamas what already feels like a lifetime ago. Life with Riko had beat and tortured nearly all the pride out of Jean and being once again basically used as a thing, property doesn't hardly even register for him. What does register is an instinctual fear. If not pride or hope, Jean has an unbeatable survival instinct or he wouldn't have survived the years at Evermore with Riko.

So, it's not quite disinterest as Jean keeps his head down, subservient, not daring to look up. He's curious, he wants to know what the situation he is getting himself into is exactly. He can't help but believe that it will be worse somehow -- though, he's no longer been able to fathom what worse could be after the last time Riko had waterboarded him or ordered him sexually assaulted for his entertainment.

He doesn't look up even as the Moriyamas leave and then when his new owner is dismissing others. He's well aware that left them alone and he bristles inwardly but tries to keep the fear out of his form, though he is also careful not to stand too confident either. It's a fine line to tread. He feels his stomach twisting when the other comes nearer to him. ]

Yes.

[Jasper actually blinked at that simple yes because wow that wasn't exactly the kind of conversation he was expecting. He was more of a sentences kind of guy rather than monosyllabic moments with bowed heads. He shifted slightly on his seat then, rifling for something and pulling out a beat up packet of cigarettes.] Well you can call me Jasper. Or Hades. Doesn't really matter to me but if you use the second one like a lot of the people here it'll take me a minute to remember you're talking to me. I've only used it for a couple months.

[He smiles before pulling one of the cigarettes from the packet and placing it between his lips, rummaging again this time for a lighter before lighting the tip and taking a drag, he leans his head backwards and blows the smoke skyward before remembering himself and smacking his own forehead.] Wait a sec, you smoke? Kinda rude, right... me smoking without asking. [He pushes the packet closer to Jean as he leans back in his seat. He really didn't look like a confident crime boss in that moment, looked more like he'd be at home in a truck or beat up car, talking to a friend.]

So I was looking through your file this morning. It didn't give me a lot of information except that you like some kinda sport? Exy, right? [Because Jasper was not a sports fan but he'd be damned if he didn't try have some kind of conversation to get to know this guy.]

[ It would certainly be an adjustment for Jean to say the least. He certainly had never had really conversations with Riko and rarely with anyone else. For a little while he had been talking to Renee from another college but that really hadn't been the wisest of ideas. Now, he is here and someone else owns him and he can only assume that life is about to get much more dangerous than it had been.

As Jasper talks, Jean still hasn't looked directly at him. He takes in the words and it feels strange and unnatural in a way. They aren't nice but they're not cruel either and it leaves him feeling unmoored and perhaps that's the purpose of it, to lull him.

He finally does look up at the question, surprise on his features and then he shakes his head. He's smoked a time or two but it'd never been a very good habit for an athlete at the level he is expected to be at so it had always been more of a social thing and therefore extremely rare. He's almost tempted but he wouldn't lie either. ]

Yes, there is not much else that would be important to know about me. [ Exy is, after all, his only real skill. He shifts slightly, not sure how to navigate this conversation and the normalcy of it makes him feel as if he is surrounded by landmines. ] I don't have skills that will be particularly useful for you, I think.

[Hades just stares at him, interested by the fact that he seemed so blank. He supposed he should've expected that from someone who'd just been sold the same way you would a car but it still struck him as strange. Jasper himself was constantly surrounded by volatile people, big personalities which left him feeling like the wallflower and it was strange for the shoe to be on the other foot for once.

His eyes narrow slightly though at Jean's admission, turning to stare more openly at him, only moving to drag a crystal ashtray closer to him, tapping the cigarette against its sharp edge once, ash dropping into it but also fluttering around it as Jasper pulls his hand back towards his face.] You sure about that? I mean... you're a sports star? Maybe I need a personal trainer. [He smiles slightly.] I'll find something for you to do that won't be totally shitty, I'm sure.

[Because he wasn't about to have Jean doing absolutely nothing, he'd get him set up with some kind of work or function within the household.]

[ Even under Riko, Jean had had not had much room to be anything but careful about what he shows, what he says. Riko had done his best to attempt to beat everything that was uniquely Jean out of him, to break him. He'd succeeded, for the most part, there were parts of Jean that remained true, his language, his will to live the subtle ways he had kept rebelling against Riko even after so many years under his thumb. Those things weren't things that were easy to show, or in this case, safe to show.

Jean's eyes follow Jasper's hand for a moment and likely he thinks if it had been Riko, the other probably would have used the cigarette to burn him by now, that'd be more interesting than smoking it in any case. He shoves the thoughts aside, he can't focus on suriving now if he's thinking about the past but Riko was really all he knew and he was trying to guage what to to expect by comparison which is hard. ]

I wouldn't say star. [ Was he anything without Riko and the Ravens? He wasn't even sure that he would be able to continue to play exy now. ] I don't know how to be a personal trainer.

[ He couldn't tell if the other had been serious or not but he tells him how it is honestly, nevertheless. He isn't sure what else to say about that so he opts for the safest reply he can think of -- maybe -- with Riko it might have been dangerous. ]

Thank you.

[Jasper notices briefly how the eyes continue to follow him but doesn't think much past it. It would be hard for him to put the two and two together of that particular psychological predicament but that could be thanks to his own problems. It would be hard for him to notice signs that he exhibited, at least.

Jasper instead just shrugs, the cigarette dangling out the side of his mouth as he drums his fingers on the table.] You wouldn't? Okay that's probably great... part of me didn't really like the idea of training to begin with. Sounds a lot more intense than I had in mind.

[He grins instead, a strange expression when he still had a cigarette in the corner of his mouth.] You hungry or anything? I mean I know its early but like, you've had breakfast, right?

[ Again, Jasper is odd and Jean found himself unable to quite understand this new person in his life -- the new owner if he were being frank in his thoughts. He doesn't believe that any of this polite kindness is any sort of genuine. ]

I'm not hungry. [ His stomach is in knots. He shakes his head to the second question, though. ]

So you're not hungry... but you haven't head breakfast. [Jasper leans on the arm of his chair towards Jean as if staring very intently at him, looking for an answer. He takes another puff of his cigarette and only leans back when its time to exhale.] Come on, you're an athlete and you're trying to tell me you skip breakfast? [He clucks his tongue at that.] I mean I skip breakfast but that's 'cause I run on coffee and cigarettes and usually sleep way past the morning.

Periodically.

[ Jean was an athlete but he was also under Riko's thumb for most of his life. He's missed more than a few meals and this morning he had been the one choosing not to eat, though, the knots in his stomach and nausea had made it too dangerous a prospect. ]

Are you hungry?

[Jasper nods at that.] I'm kinda always either really hungry or really sick and I'm not even sure which way I'm leaning right now. [He shrugs, the kid was ridiculously flippant.] You want some coffee? I can have one of the guys bring us some coffee? French people love coffee, right? Maybe a croissant? [Jasper hold the fuck up what are you doing.]

[ Jean thinks to himself that it's probably the running on cigarettes and coffee that make him really hungry or really and not able to distinguish at the moment -- but he doesn't voice that, of course. ]

Have you ever met a French person? [ Jean asks, thinking better of the question too late and he swallows. ]

My apologies. [ He apologizes for the bit of a sassy question. ]

I do like coffee and croissants. [ But doesn't everyone? ]

[Jasper barks out a laugh at that.] Okay so you're the first French person I've met but I like coffee and croissants and I'm not even French. [He cocks an eyebrow though, head tilting as he stubs the butt of his cigarette into the crystal ashtray.] Why are you saying sorry, what happened? [Because really Jean he didn't make the same mental leap as you.

He leans forward to the desk and presses a button that looks like an intercom, asking for someone to send in some coffee and croissants.] We'll consider it a welcome home breakfast.

[ Jean doesn't answer immediately and instead he studies Jasper as he orders them breakfast. 'welcome home' seems an odd way to describe this and he's not sure he's had a home ever sense his parents sold him and he's not sure it'd be wise to start thinking of this as home in any way. There would just be more room for something bad to happen or disappointment which is bad in itself. ]

It really wasn't a proper thing to say before. That's why I apologized.

Oh shit, well don't worry about that man... I mean unless you start saying things that are really mean or something you don't have to apologise. [He shrugs.] Unless you say something Theo doesn't like... then he'll probably put you in the hospital. But I'll ask him real nicely if he'll be peaceful for now.

[ Jean gives a nod, though it's unlikely that he would be able to help himself if he ever slipped up again in the future. ]

What kind of things does he not like?

People insulting me... people being rude to me... people taking advantage of me... people being mean to me, or about me. [He shrugs.] There's a long list.

It does not sound like it will be a problem then. [ Jean murmurs quietly. He exhales, his fingers rubbing against each other and still anxious and restless in this situation. ]

[Jasper misreads his anxiety and reaches out for Jean's shoulder, squeezing it lightly with a smile.] Hey... I'm just kidding, Theo's fine he's just super protective.

[ Jean tensed instinctively at the touch but then relaxed after a millisecond at least. He is not particularly worried about Theo exactly but he gives a nod of understanding or perhaps agreement. ]

[Jasper feels more than he sees Jean tense up, an eyebrow raising as if he was going to ask a question before shaking his head and filing it away for later. At that moment a tray is pushed into the room with coffee and croissants on top which is left beside Jasper who stands immediately and dismisses the server.] So, Frenchy... how do you take your coffee?

[ Jean exhaled slightly when the server came in and then just as quickly was dismissed. ]

Just black. [ He answers immediately, a brief furrow of brow at the new nickname. ]

Just black? Easy... [He pulls out a coffee cup and sets it on the table beside Jean before picking up the French press and pouring some into the cup. He then sets about making his own cup and filling it with a ridiculous amount of sugar and creamer. He places the tray of croissants complete with jam and butter between the two of them before returning to his own seat. Once there he takes a big gulp of his drink, watching Jean expectantly.]

[ Jean simply nods in confirmation of the fact. He then watches how Jasper makes his own coffee and it's surprising to see that much sugar and creamer. He can't remember the last time he saw someone use that much, if ever. He exhales and it felt weird the other basically serving the coffee and such. He doesn't say as much because what if he manages to offend in some way. ]

Thank you. [ He says and he still feels a nervous twist in his stomach but he sips at the black coffee. He didn't drink coffee all that much, honestly. It wasn't the most healthy drink choice after all but he'd never really put anything frivolous in it when he did. ]

Wouldn't a different beverage suit you more? [ He asks in that vein of thought. If you have to put so much into something to make it taste good maybe other things would be better. ]

No problem man, any time. I was a barrista for like five minutes a year back.
[Until his foster parents found out he'd been working a job on the side to earn his own money and that'd been very quickly pulled to a halt.]

A different drink? [Jasper just shrugs.] Nah man, there's not a lot of drinks out there that give both warmth and energy. Besides, I like sweet things, I've got a sweet tooth. [He also didn't need to mention that the high volumes of sugar helped to counteract the effects of his other vices.]

[ Jean shrugs then at the explanation. He doesn't have much of a sweet tooth or at least he thinks that he doesn't since he never really was able to indulge in things like that. Maybe if he did he'd find out that he does have one after all. He doesn't think that's going to start just because his owner changed. ]

I drink water most of the time.

[Jasper just rolls his eyes to the heavens and shakes his head wryly.] Water has to be the most boring thing in the world... I legitimately don't think I even drink water. [He doesn't drink water, never by itself at least.] Its boring, right?

It's healthy. [ Jean answers automatically, which isn't really an answer to the question that was asked but he finds maybe he doesn't really know how he feels about water. It's just how it always was. ]

I like it. Maybe I am boring.

Healthy... healthy... [He says the word with a rising wave of almost-hysteria.] Jean you're like twenty-something years old and you're worried about being healthy. [He shakes his head sadly, reaching out almost subconsciously, reaching out for Jean's shoulder and a mock sad expression on his features.] Who hurt you, man?

closed; everyone i hold holds me strangled; jasper & jean

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