"I am glued to the couch. That part where I said I'd've cleaned up? Total lie meant to make me feel better about the sorry state of my apartment." His eyes were red but there was an almost permanent grin on his features. "Y'could just pour the whole thing over my face if y'wanted... like... a more helpful kinda waterboarding." Which was a truly ridiculous statement for him to be making that he should</> take right back.